Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
