I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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