Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips

(515): View more from Iowa

there is no god

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(316): View more from Kansas

i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

Fav 73 10196 2572
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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

Fav 10 1416 4856
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(630): View more from Illinois

everybody makes mistakes

(1-630): View more from Illinois

i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

Fav 23 7117 1739
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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

Fav 8 4773 1293
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

Fav 5 1820 925
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(949): View more from California

He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.

Fav 32 3965 1000
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(480): View more from Arizona

Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.

Fav 2 844 452
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(310): View more from California

At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic

Fav 1 29 167
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