I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
