He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
