Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
