Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
