I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
