Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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