C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
