The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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