Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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