Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize