My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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