"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
