So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
