I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
