Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
