I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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