i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
