Me too!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
