I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
