Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
