names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
