i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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