there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
