you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize