I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's never too late to be topless.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
