he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
