My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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