Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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