You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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