Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am one with the molecules
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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