laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
