Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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