I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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