Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
