i just google imaged poop.
we made out on top of his cat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
