Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
