Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
