The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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