im about as happy as oj after his trial
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
