All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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