before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
