so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
