Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
