I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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