it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
