so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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