everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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