Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
