If that was your dad, he is hot
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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