belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
