I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
