idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
