At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
