Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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