come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
